Farhad Manjoo's Machinist blog at Salon didn't impress me at first, but has been rapidly winning me over, and cracked me up today. If you live anywhere in Metro Detroit it's been impossible to avoid the snippets of text messages revealing a sexual affair between Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick and his Chief of Staff Christine Beatty.
Not such a big deal, or big surprise, but a whistleblower lawsuit has cost the city over 9 million dollars, after two police officers claimed they were fired for investigating the Mayor's horseplay. The over 14,000 text messages between Mayor and CoS confirm perjury about their affair and removal of the snoopy officers. There is at least one other pending federal lawsuit connected to the Mayor's alleged hosting of a party at the Manoogian Mansion, brought by the survivors of a murdered exotic dancer said to have performed at the party. Until last night hearings have found no actionable connection between the mayor's office and the stripper's unsolved death, but now the text messages will be subpoenaed in an updated complaint.
So. As Manjoo wisely points out - "please, for the love of all things good, refrain from text messaging your booty calls". Thank you and amen! i mean, my heart goes out to the poor overtaxed, depressed, overburdened citizens of Detroit at this time. They surely deserve the truth, and the expanding County Prosecutor's investigation commencing today. But what baffles me is that otherwise smart, tech-savvy folks like Kwame and Christine don't know that what's done in cyberspace remains in cyberspace. Phone calls, emails, and, duh, text messages. If you're so lame in covering up your cheating, please do not use texting to discuss the coverup.
Even if "all" you're guilty of is a little mess around, disgracing two cops doing their jobs, and squandering millions in one of the nations most cash-strapped cities, assume someone is watching. Because in the unlikely event that the frustrated and heartbroken citizens who reelected you on a mountain of lies decide to forgive you, they will still have to laugh at you, because TEXTS LOOK DUMB.
KK: That's the first time that I couldn't fully seduce you. My game is off. LOL! Thanx for the conversation and the QT! Love you!
CB: LOL! Your game is way on baby! "you had me at hello!" Jerry McGuire 2000. LOL.I just didn't want to get caught.
Just a word to the wise. And Jerry Maguire came out in 1996.